


Even Though He Broke His Promise

by JesusChristsuzIe



Series: Loss of Life and Embrace of Death [3]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Iroh (Avatar) is a Good Uncle, Iroh just trying to be supportive, POV Iroh (Avatar), She needs an emotional outlet, Therapist Iroh, Toph Beifong and Zuko are Siblings, Toph being soft, Toph being vulnerable, Toph is Iroh's niece, Zuko (Avatar)-centric, Zuko is finally at peace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:54:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25390108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JesusChristsuzIe/pseuds/JesusChristsuzIe
Summary: Zuko's death hit Toph harder than she'd like to admit, but she can always confide in Iroh
Relationships: Iroh & Zuko (Avatar), Toph Beifong & Iroh, Toph Beifong & Zuko
Series: Loss of Life and Embrace of Death [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1838794
Comments: 11
Kudos: 158





	Even Though He Broke His Promise

He found her beside the pond, she was lying down on her back, her feet dangling in the water. It was the most vulnerable he'd ever seen her, knowing the loss of contact between her feet and the earth would render her truly blind, he wondered why she left herself so open, even in the private space of the garden. 

He sat down next to her, folding his legs carefully underneath him, taking out a lump of stale bread that he had been allowed to steal from the kitchens and tore off pieces for the turtle ducks. Though he threw out small crumbs, no turtle ducks swam to meet them, instead they floated sadly in the pond, before starting to sink slowly to the bottom.

"Hey Gramps."

Her voice startled him slightly, he dropped a handful of crumbs, before he composed himself and smiled warmly down at her.

"How did you know it was me?"

She shrugged, as best as she could from her position on the ground, "I haven't found anybody else in these gardens, so I figured it couldn't really be anybody else."

He thought for a moment, before responding, "You've been to the gardens before?"

A small blush spread across her face, easily spotted against her pale skin, "Only a few times," she paused for a moment, "I haven't actually been in before, I just heard you in here, talking to the turtle ducks."

Iroh laughed sadly, remembering all his visits to the gardens before now, sitting in front of the pond with a stale lump of bread, just as he was now, alone.

"I wasn't actually talking to the turtle ducks, you know," he sighed, "I thought, maybe... Zuko always loved this place, I thought maybe I could talk to him, maybe at least his spirit would be able to hear me. I know it must sound ridiculous."

She didn't respond for a long time, staring unseeingly up at the sky, her head rested on her hands.

"That's why I came too. He used to talk about this place a lot. He said he came here with his mother. I don't know if anybody else knows about it, or if he just told me, but it seemed so special to him. I thought, maybe, if I came here, he might be by the pond, feeding the turtle ducks, I just hoped that maybe he was sat there with you."

Iroh looked over at her, her expression was carefully arranged into one of casual neutrality, but he could see the hurt in her eyes. He threw another handful of crumbs into the pond, where they bobbed sadly for a few minutes.

"It sounds like the two of you were very close," she didn't respond. Iroh continued, "I know he thought very highly of you. You were very special to him."

Still she didn't respond, but her mask was slipping, he could see tears welling in her eyes and her mouth was pressed into a thin line.

"He thought of you as a sister, you know. He said you reminded him of Azula, when she was younger. I often think the same thing, that maybe you were what my niece could have been."

Tears slipped down her face, but still she did not say a word. She didn't move, staring silently up at the sky. 

"He's going to miss you. He's going to miss all of them, but I think he might miss you most, maybe even more than Mai. You were like family to him, you are to me too, if you don't mind me saying. You're very much like niece to me. I don't find it hard to believe my nephew found a friend in you-"

"Stop!"

She was sat bolt upright now, she was faced towards the pond, away from him, so he could barely see her face, but tears were dripping down from her chin now, creating dark spots on her clothes. He stared, slightly surprised at her outburst, he hadn't meant to upset her so much, but he figured any show of emotion was better than suppressing them and felt a little better because of it.

"Please, stop. It's- it's too much."

Iroh moved over to her, so they sat almost hip to hip, and placed a hand on her shoulder, lightly so as not to startle her.

"I know it's painful. Zuko was like a son to me, I don't know if I'll ever be able to get over his death, but we must talk about him. We must talk about how we feel, it's not healthy to push these things down, no matter how painful they are."

She didn't respond for a long time, and Iroh was almost worried she wouldn't say anything at all, before she whispered, so quietly he could barely hear, "He promised he would protect me."

Iroh didn't understand at first, but she continued, her voice shaky and quiet, "He said he would protect me, he promised he would always be there. He said he wouldn't leave me. He promised he would protect me, us, all of us! He- he broke his promise, he left! An- and now he's never coming ba- ack!"

Her words were broken up by loud sobs and she couldn't hide her tears now. She turned towards Iroh, her eyes, normally pale and milky, were large and puffy, rimmed with red. Her pale skin was splotchy and her mouth was hung slightly open as she wailed openly. It was the weakest he ever saw her, the first time her tough-girl facade had ever been broken.

He pulled her towards him, wrapping her up in a big bear hug and he had a sudden memory of hugging a crying boy in a tent as he begged for forgiveness, and felt tears springing to his own eyes.

She pulled back, still crying, but quieter now, sniffling and rubbing at her eyes.

"Did he really say all that?"

Iroh smiled down at her, at the earnesty of her voice, "Oh yes, he talked about all of you endlessly, but he talked about you most. For such a short amount of time, he managed to talk about one girl an awful lot."

She smiled slightly, it was a weak smile and she still looked like she would tear up at any moment, but it was a smile nonetheless.

"He was like a brother to me. I think if I could have any sibling, I'd want it to be Zuko. If I had a brother, I think it would be him. I love all of them," she looked up at Iroh, her eyes serious, "but Zuko was different. I barely knew him a few weeks, but he was so nice to me, and- and he was so like me. He was just so easy to understand."

She paused a moment, choosing her next words carefully, her hands twisting in her lap.

"I've never really told anyone this before, but I'm not good at people. I don't understand them, or their feelings, or what I'm supposed to say, or what people mean. Yeah I can read heartbeats and I can tell when people are lying, but I'm not good at, like I dunno, understanding them? Emotions are just so complex and people never say what they mean, but Zuko was like an open book. He was just like me. He didn't understand people either, but we understood each other. Talking to him was easy, where talking to other people was confusing."

She looked away, leaning over to dip her fingers in the pool, Iroh watched the water ripple out from her fingers, bouncing back against the pond edge.

"He seemed to understand things other people didn't too, like, he never forgot that I was blind. Which sounds stupid, I know, but everybody always forgets that I can't see! They show me stuff and expect me to read and write and it just gets on my nerves, you know, it just reminds me of all the stuff that I just can't do, but Zuko never did that. He always described stuff for me, read things out, held things out for me to touch, when he told me about stuff, he never described it with colour or the way it looked, he always used touch or smell. It just felt like he, I don't know, understood how I felt, or just, like, took the time to think about it and do something in a way I could understand."

She was smiling now, her eyes were still red and puffy, but they held genuine happiness now.

"He was just so... considerate. He was always worried about other people and how they felt. You know, he stayed up every night for a week praying for Mai's spirit. He thought she was dead, that it was his fault. Which, I mean, it kind of was, but still. He blamed himself for, like, everything that went wrong. It would have been kind of endearing, if it wasn't so annoying. He just wanted to make up for his past, for what he did, he just wanted to make people happy, even if he didn't understand them, or how he could help, he still tried."

They were silent, Iroh staring out at the pond as little turtle ducklings finally ventured out onto the water, pecking curiously at the few crumbs that stayed floating atop the water. Toph's head was turned down towards her lap, her hand still trailing mindlessly in the pond.

"My nephew was very remorseful, up until the very end, I know he never truly forgave himself. Maybe after we found each other again, he did, but he kept that guilt with him much too long. He thought it his own personal mission to make up for every wrong deed he did. He cared so deeply, his emotions ran deep and he had trouble keeping them under control. Maybe that's how he was able to attach himself so readily to you, all of you. He considered you family, his little sister, someone he could protect better than his own family."

Toph smiled slightly, flicking bits of water out over the pond.

"Maybe that's why he threw himself in front of Katara, why he disregarded his safety so readily. All I know is, my nephew was a good man, he was twisted up inside for a long time, he was misguided and lost and he hurt a lot of people, but he was always a good person. Deep down, he was just a hurt little boy, I couldn't protect him in the end, but he learnt to take care of himself, in a sort of roundabout way, and I know I'll always be proud of him, what he was able to do."

Toph nodded stiffly and Iroh was worried she might cry again, he was on the verge himself and he hoped, not for the first, nor the last, that his nephew would finally be at peace.

"I'm glad I could know Zuko. He was a good brother, even if he did break his promise."

**Author's Note:**

> I had this written for a w h i l e but just never posted it, thought maybe it was time for some vulnerable Toph


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